Just a Thought: Getting Over Myself
January 13, 2012
By Katrice
This morning I walked by the mirror and thought to myself, "Hmph ... my shape isn't so bad after all." Truth be told, I later attributed it to what I was wearing — a loose fitting tank, long cardigan and leggings — articles of clothing that, in unison, are extremely forgiving. Just a few days ago, passing the same mirror, I noted that I should really get to work on dropping about 10 lbs.
I'm sure you can relate to this back and forth since what I'm talking about isn't any behavior original to me, of course.
In essence, there is a constant dichotomy-type struggle within most women, including myself. That of which is not always the result of low self-esteem or self-love or even self-realization. However, it is in response to the world's reception of the female body on the whole — the politics of our bodies, if you will. Frankly, the reality is that even with a healthy self-concept, we can experience cyclical rejection of ours and others' "bodies" ... and subsequent contempt. Remember the last time you reacted to another woman's shape or size? Note: It doesn't matter that she didn't hear you. And what about the times you audibly scrutinize your imperfections to others?
Rarely does what we see portrayed as the beauty standard resemble us in size, age or race. And what we take in must come out.
So it happens that we find ourselves at regular impasses; Perhaps at age 13 and 18, 25, 35 and so on. We become discontented with our hips and thighs, and we study every part of our bodies that isn't what we'd like it to be. And in the intervals between, we come to a period of self-acceptance; Followed by period of rejection. And the process of reconciliation continues.
Rarely does what we see portrayed as the beauty standard resemble us in size, age or race. And what we take in must come out.
So it happens that we find ourselves at regular impasses; Perhaps at age 13 and 18, 25, 35 and so on. We become discontented with our hips and thighs, and we study every part of our bodies that isn't what we'd like it to be. And in the intervals between, we come to a period of self-acceptance; Followed by period of rejection. And the process of reconciliation continues.
That right there was a moment of liberation for me today. I may never be fully reconciled because I am ever changing. Reconciliation, the process by which all parts are caused to exist in harmony, should begin every time a part of the "whole" changes. This epiphany fits well with my pursuit of wisdom.
Though I cannot promise that I will not scrutinize my forearms or that I won't at least try the exercises I found on Google yesterday for my cheeks {Ha!}, I do realize that it is time the begin the process of getting over myself. And I mean that with all the love and appreciation I can muster for this beautiful, healthy, brown body.
5 comments
And the church said... AMEN!
ReplyDeleteInteresting you would write and post this today. I was having the same type of introspection today. I suppose in 'reconcilation' I found myself feverishly looking for 'mature (not plus-size)' woman fashion/style images much to my disappointment. Thanks for such a frank and genuine thought.*Q
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have said it better my dear!!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your feedback.
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts here. I had a "Get over myself" moment this weekend when I found myself in a place (Vegas!) where it would have been so easy to be self-conscious. I thought of this post; gave a good shrug and went on about my day and subsequently the weekend. Thanks for this.
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