By Katrice
The reason you believe you're still alive today.
When I was 23, I met a young man named Mark through a mutual friend. He was unlike any guy I had ever dated in that he was very settled down, genuinely spiritual and just simply authentic. We became exclusive after getting to know each other for about six months and there was never a dull moment. Really. He was a young preacher and it fascinated me how serious he was about his ministry — especially the time he dedicated to studying. At first, I thought he wasn't really interested in me because I had never experienced a guy telling me that he was going to do a little work and call me back in three hours. Three hours!? But, it wasn't long before I realized that he kept his word and when he did call back or visit, he was extremely attentive. I admired that about him. After we had been dating for two years, he fell ill and passed away suddenly at the age of 27. I could barely focus on anything. I had never experienced anyone close to me dying at such a young age and the sheer unexpectedness of it was enough to turn my world upside down. People tried to console me, of course, but I refused to be comforted. At his funeral, one of his friends came up to have words about the impact that Mark had on his life, particularly influencing him to not only develop a relationship with God, but to dedicate his life to it and how that changed everything. I knew that Mark was always reading his Bible and working on sermons. But, during his service I heard so much more about everything that he had been doing at his church, his humility and how many people he had been a beacon to in drawing them to Christ. And even in my grief and haze, I had a moment of clarity ... I literally wondered, while sitting just few feet from his casket, "what would people say about me if I died today?" At that time in my life, I was already saved and working in my church. But, I was really just doing things that I had always seen my peers do and what I thought I should do. I wasn't reaching. And I thought: What if I had, at 27, done everything that God wanted out of my life? What an honor that would be spiritually.
That thought changed my entire trajectory. Mark's life and his death changed me.
I believe I'm still alive today because there is some very specific thing {or things} that God wants of me, as well. One thing I know for sure is that He has blessed me to inspire. Since I know it, I take every opportunity to do and be that so that His goodness and favor show through my life. And still, I believe there is more.
When I was 23, I met a young man named Mark through a mutual friend. He was unlike any guy I had ever dated in that he was very settled down, genuinely spiritual and just simply authentic. We became exclusive after getting to know each other for about six months and there was never a dull moment. Really. He was a young preacher and it fascinated me how serious he was about his ministry — especially the time he dedicated to studying. At first, I thought he wasn't really interested in me because I had never experienced a guy telling me that he was going to do a little work and call me back in three hours. Three hours!? But, it wasn't long before I realized that he kept his word and when he did call back or visit, he was extremely attentive. I admired that about him. After we had been dating for two years, he fell ill and passed away suddenly at the age of 27. I could barely focus on anything. I had never experienced anyone close to me dying at such a young age and the sheer unexpectedness of it was enough to turn my world upside down. People tried to console me, of course, but I refused to be comforted. At his funeral, one of his friends came up to have words about the impact that Mark had on his life, particularly influencing him to not only develop a relationship with God, but to dedicate his life to it and how that changed everything. I knew that Mark was always reading his Bible and working on sermons. But, during his service I heard so much more about everything that he had been doing at his church, his humility and how many people he had been a beacon to in drawing them to Christ. And even in my grief and haze, I had a moment of clarity ... I literally wondered, while sitting just few feet from his casket, "what would people say about me if I died today?" At that time in my life, I was already saved and working in my church. But, I was really just doing things that I had always seen my peers do and what I thought I should do. I wasn't reaching. And I thought: What if I had, at 27, done everything that God wanted out of my life? What an honor that would be spiritually.
That thought changed my entire trajectory. Mark's life and his death changed me.
I believe I'm still alive today because there is some very specific thing {or things} that God wants of me, as well. One thing I know for sure is that He has blessed me to inspire. Since I know it, I take every opportunity to do and be that so that His goodness and favor show through my life. And still, I believe there is more.
By Katrice
Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
This past weekend was my family reunion here in Atlanta. It was such a great time and I woke up this morning thinking about how much I enjoyed my younger cousins being around. Up until this reunion, I always said "my little cousins," but yesterday — as they trickled in to my uncle's house from being out and about around the city — I realized that they are all grown up. They have graduated from college, begun careers and started their own families ... and are bringing up the rear strong. I understand that many of them see me as stern and expecting a lot, but I hope they know that it's because I know they are more than capable. And that greatness is within them. Period. I'm proud of them. So, I've decided to do a playlist for my not so little cousins — the "whippers."
1. Keep Your Head | Kirk Franklin {I believe each of you can do and have anything you desire out of life.}
2. Count It All Joy | The Winans {We come from an incredible legacy, and when life presents its challenges ... just think of how our elders overcame.}
3. To Be Young, Gifted and Black | Donny Hathaway {Speaks for itself.}
4. What's Going On | Marvin Gaye {There is nothing new under the sun ... I want you to be aware of what is happening around you and understand that you too have influence.}
5. Perfect Love | The Winans {No matter how much I challenge you, understand that it is all in love.}
6. So Much Things to Say | Lauryn Hill {The generation behind my age group of peer cousins is so much quieter than us, but I know you have much to say.}
By Katrice
Something you wish you had done in your life.
Hmmmm. I'm still living so there is still so much for me to do. But, I wish I had taken more time to get to know my paternal grandmother when I was a teen. Although I have a relationship with my dad, I know very little about his side of the family and his memory is now failing. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in my sophomore year of college and prior to that I had only heard bits and pieces about her family at intervals. The older I get, when I hear stories about the family or specifics about aunts/uncles and cousins, it's difficult for me to connect with other information I've heard over the years. I'll have to pull it together now from my cousins, but I wish I had gotten it direct.
Hmmmm. I'm still living so there is still so much for me to do. But, I wish I had taken more time to get to know my paternal grandmother when I was a teen. Although I have a relationship with my dad, I know very little about his side of the family and his memory is now failing. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in my sophomore year of college and prior to that I had only heard bits and pieces about her family at intervals. The older I get, when I hear stories about the family or specifics about aunts/uncles and cousins, it's difficult for me to connect with other information I've heard over the years. I'll have to pull it together now from my cousins, but I wish I had gotten it direct.
By Katrice
Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.
A couple of people I dated could have been skipped. But, the boyfriend I had who broke up with me in the airport ... Yeah, I wish I hadn't wasted a minute of my time on that. The interesting thing is that our dating relationship grew out of a great friendship. And when he mentioned an interest in me that was more than platonic, I shot it down because I just didn't see how it would work. He was actually a cool guy. But, I foresaw the potential for something that would ruin our friendship ... So much so that he actually had to wear me down over the course of a year. It was one of those instances where I ignored that still small voice. I wish I hadn't.
{Today is my 500th post!!!}
A couple of people I dated could have been skipped. But, the boyfriend I had who broke up with me in the airport ... Yeah, I wish I hadn't wasted a minute of my time on that. The interesting thing is that our dating relationship grew out of a great friendship. And when he mentioned an interest in me that was more than platonic, I shot it down because I just didn't see how it would work. He was actually a cool guy. But, I foresaw the potential for something that would ruin our friendship ... So much so that he actually had to wear me down over the course of a year. It was one of those instances where I ignored that still small voice. I wish I hadn't.
{Today is my 500th post!!!}
By Katrice
Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Is this even a real question? ... I'd go to wherever she was, which goes back to my answer for Day 2. Life is too short to hold on to animosities.
By Katrice
Your views on drugs and alcohol.
I guess my view on both was "just say no" before the campaign even launched. I have spent quite a bit of time, over the years, explaining why I don't indulge and the bottom line of it for me is spiritual. However, even if I hadn't made a commitment to abstain, the life-altering effects I have seen drugs and alcohol have on my family and friends, alone, are enough.
By Katrice
via Atlanta Tribune: The Magazine | June 2012 issue
For more on Tasha S. Robinson, visit her boutique — Imperfect Concepts and follow her on Twitter @ImperfectConcept.
By Katrice
Forever 21 | Vince Camuto | Guess | Vintage Louis Vuitton
By Katrice
What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
I was raised and shaped in an extremely religious home, so there are values and beliefs that were our normalcy and that I so appreciate for guiding me. However, as I have grown into adulthood, I've learned to clearly differentiate activities — like gathering and behaviors — from actual spirituality. While I yet appreciate the principals of religion, spirituality and a complete dedication to living a Godly life is most important to me, and what dictates every step I take.
I was raised and shaped in an extremely religious home, so there are values and beliefs that were our normalcy and that I so appreciate for guiding me. However, as I have grown into adulthood, I've learned to clearly differentiate activities — like gathering and behaviors — from actual spirituality. While I yet appreciate the principals of religion, spirituality and a complete dedication to living a Godly life is most important to me, and what dictates every step I take.
By Katrice
Your views on gay marriage.
I believe that marriage is a sacred union ordained of God, between one man and one woman.
I believe that marriage is a sacred union ordained of God, between one man and one woman.
By Katrice
A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
I can't recall a book at the moment, but I have watched a few documentaries recently that could qualify. One in particular is "Which Way Home." Before watching it, I was anti-immigration. After, I was for policy that would make it possible for immigrants to find a safe haven in the United States. Even with all of my traveling internationally, I was embarrassingly oblivious of the sometimes devastating realities of life abroad. "Which Way Home" shows the personal impact of immigration — following several unaccompanied child migrants as they journey through Mexico en route to the United States on a freight train they call "The Beast." We're privvy to the stories of children like Olga and Freddy, nine-year-old Hondurans who are desperately trying to reach their families in Minnesota, and Jose, a ten-year-old El Salvadoran who has been abandoned by smugglers and ends up alone in a Mexican detention center. Theirs and several others are stories of hope and courage, disappointment and sorrow. Not only am I now empathetic, I am extremely grateful for the freedom and means that I have here.
I can't recall a book at the moment, but I have watched a few documentaries recently that could qualify. One in particular is "Which Way Home." Before watching it, I was anti-immigration. After, I was for policy that would make it possible for immigrants to find a safe haven in the United States. Even with all of my traveling internationally, I was embarrassingly oblivious of the sometimes devastating realities of life abroad. "Which Way Home" shows the personal impact of immigration — following several unaccompanied child migrants as they journey through Mexico en route to the United States on a freight train they call "The Beast." We're privvy to the stories of children like Olga and Freddy, nine-year-old Hondurans who are desperately trying to reach their families in Minnesota, and Jose, a ten-year-old El Salvadoran who has been abandoned by smugglers and ends up alone in a Mexican detention center. Theirs and several others are stories of hope and courage, disappointment and sorrow. Not only am I now empathetic, I am extremely grateful for the freedom and means that I have here.
By Katrice
Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Naysayers. Two of my biggest pet peeves are people who operate out of a half-empty glass perspective and those who always have a "could of, should of, would of" response ready at all times. I can't. Naysayers waste time. My glass is always half full and I try to stay in motion. So, even if I could have or should have done something a certain way ... I refuse to let that be a hindrance. Instead of could of, should of or would of, you're likely to get "now what" from me.
By Katrice
Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
I couldn't live without Jesus. I've never tried, but there are times when I try to do things on my own accord ... being impatient or without praying about it first. After all of the times God has blessed and made a situation exactly what I needed it to be, I don't even know why I would.
I couldn't live without my family. Again, I've never tried and it's not even a consideration. I was talking with someone who was trying to get me to understand that there are those family members who are so nerve-wrecking that they cause you to stay away all together. Insert: Blank stare. I said, "no, I don't." I grew up living next door to my maternal grandparents and down the street from my paternal grands. I was fortunate to have as many as 10 my first cousins living in the same neighborhood with my brothers and me growing up. We had relay races up and own our street and flagged cars to hurry by in the middle of our football games, played baseball in the field, worked in my grandmother's garden ... Life was perfect. I talk to one of my brothers, cousins and aunts/uncles by phone every single day. So, living without that connection is unfathomable. Family is everything to me.
I couldn't live without chocolate ice cream. I have tried and it didn't work out.
I couldn't live without Jesus. I've never tried, but there are times when I try to do things on my own accord ... being impatient or without praying about it first. After all of the times God has blessed and made a situation exactly what I needed it to be, I don't even know why I would.
I couldn't live without my family. Again, I've never tried and it's not even a consideration. I was talking with someone who was trying to get me to understand that there are those family members who are so nerve-wrecking that they cause you to stay away all together. Insert: Blank stare. I said, "no, I don't." I grew up living next door to my maternal grandparents and down the street from my paternal grands. I was fortunate to have as many as 10 my first cousins living in the same neighborhood with my brothers and me growing up. We had relay races up and own our street and flagged cars to hurry by in the middle of our football games, played baseball in the field, worked in my grandmother's garden ... Life was perfect. I talk to one of my brothers, cousins and aunts/uncles by phone every single day. So, living without that connection is unfathomable. Family is everything to me.
I couldn't live without chocolate ice cream. I have tried and it didn't work out.
By Katrice
A hero that has let you down.
Before I started the 30 Days, I went down the list of truths and some of the days made me nervous. This was one of those days. Of course, a name or two comes to mind as soon as I read the query, and I wondered {before starting in} how I'd be able to really fulfill this challenge without possibly straining a relationship or two in sharing my truths. Simple: I have accepted this as an exercise in searching myself and portioning what is necessary to empty myself out. That has little, if anything, to do with anyone else. And thus, names are irrelevant.
With that being said, the heroes I've had in my life have been people that I knew personally and admired from close proximity. And a few have let me down ... just as I'm confident someone could say the same of me. I have learned from being on the receiving and giving end of it. Selah.
Before I started the 30 Days, I went down the list of truths and some of the days made me nervous. This was one of those days. Of course, a name or two comes to mind as soon as I read the query, and I wondered {before starting in} how I'd be able to really fulfill this challenge without possibly straining a relationship or two in sharing my truths. Simple: I have accepted this as an exercise in searching myself and portioning what is necessary to empty myself out. That has little, if anything, to do with anyone else. And thus, names are irrelevant.
With that being said, the heroes I've had in my life have been people that I knew personally and admired from close proximity. And a few have let me down ... just as I'm confident someone could say the same of me. I have learned from being on the receiving and giving end of it. Selah.
By Katrice
A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
On January 16, 2006, I was in the morning ecumenical service at one of the high schools in my hometown commemorating Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and some young people did a mime presentation to Kirk Franklin's rendition of "Keep Your Head." It was the day before I would be moving to Philadelphia in pursuit of my "big dreams," and my mind was racing. I was so nervous. Everyone who passed me at the school that day was asking me about my plans and wishing me well, and I could barely even muster conversation. But, after hearing that song, I left the program and went straight out to purchase the CD. I drove to Philly the next day with it on repeat ... I literally didn't listen to anything else and it was a mainstay in my life for the next six months. I can't even really say what it was about that particular offering by Kirk that was so uplifting for me, but it really did comfort me when I was in the midst of such a stark period of newness. Even now, I will put it on and go straight to track 7, "Imagine Me" and I'm transported right back to January 2006 ... I was excited about the adventure, meeting new people, exploring a new city and making my life the life I'd always wanted to live. And now, I've realized all that I envisioned; more, even. It seems like only yesterday. Good times.
On January 16, 2006, I was in the morning ecumenical service at one of the high schools in my hometown commemorating Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and some young people did a mime presentation to Kirk Franklin's rendition of "Keep Your Head." It was the day before I would be moving to Philadelphia in pursuit of my "big dreams," and my mind was racing. I was so nervous. Everyone who passed me at the school that day was asking me about my plans and wishing me well, and I could barely even muster conversation. But, after hearing that song, I left the program and went straight out to purchase the CD. I drove to Philly the next day with it on repeat ... I literally didn't listen to anything else and it was a mainstay in my life for the next six months. I can't even really say what it was about that particular offering by Kirk that was so uplifting for me, but it really did comfort me when I was in the midst of such a stark period of newness. Even now, I will put it on and go straight to track 7, "Imagine Me" and I'm transported right back to January 2006 ... I was excited about the adventure, meeting new people, exploring a new city and making my life the life I'd always wanted to live. And now, I've realized all that I envisioned; more, even. It seems like only yesterday. Good times.
By Katrice
Something you never get compliments on.
This is such an awkward question. I've actually been wracking my brain for a response and I honestly could not think of anything ... which must be good. People always seem to be pretty complimentary. It puts me in mind of what my mom used to make me and my brothers do when she'd catch us bickering or calling each other names when we were young. She'd make us hug and then say something nice about each other. We learned quickly to keep the fighting at a low tone or out of earshot completely. lol
By Katrice
I get a lot of compliments on my smile, my eyes and my hair. I'd say an even amount for each.
Something people seem to compliment you on the most.
I get a lot of compliments on my smile, my eyes and my hair. I'd say an even amount for each.
My hair, I appreciate because I have always put a lot of energy into making sure that it's healthy. I also think that my mom being a stylist for so many years really made me a little fanatical about it always being well-maintained. There was actually a point when I was wearing it short, right before I grew it natural, that I would go to her for hair cuts but wouldn't even let her curl it. Talk about being OCD.
When I was a girl, people always told me that I had big beautiful eyes — even though I wore glasses. I couldn't wait to get contacts. And then when I found out about Lasik, I had to have it. So, now they're not hidden behind glasses.
I have a love-hate relationship with my smile because it's so big. I have tried to practice smiling smaller but it's either a big smile or no smile. Whenever I take pictures, especially with other people who have less teeth showing, it's the first thing people mention. lol But, these days I'm loving it more all the time because it reminds me so much of my maternal grandmother and my Aunt Bren's. Both of them had very bright smiles that were just a little crooked. It's so interesting me that you can inherit something as specific as a certain muscle movement in your face when you smile. When I smile, I squint my eyes and my mouth pulls down just a bit on the right. I love it.
By Katrice
Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
No one.
By Katrice
Someone you didn't want to let go but just drifted.
I was so fascinated with the poem about a reason, a season and a lifetime the first time I heard it. In theory, I loved it; I thought whoever conceived it was so sharp. Sidebar: I hadn't yet drifted from anyone close to me and so I had not experienced the uncomfortable reality of it all.
Friend
I had a best friend growing up who was more like a sister to me than any one I believe my mother could have birthed. We were a few years apart in age and so I was like a big sister, but our friendship was well-rounded and we always had so much fun together. For years, we endured the distance of college -- first me going away and then her — without missing a beat. And then it seemed like overnight, our lives were going in different directions and for the first time, we weren't maintaining. I tried to hang on but realized I was actually kind of flailing and she was going on with her life. It was such a difficult conclusion to arrive at and the reason, season, lifetime thought never once came to the forefront of my mind because I guess I believed that my friendship with her defaulted to lifetime longevity. But, we drifted and the new normal was us chatting when we ran into each other in passing. It was so strange and took me quite a while to adjust to. But, I did. And now as mature women, we are friends again but in a way that you'd almost never know that we used to be best friends. And I'm finally okay with that.
Mentor
I say all the time that when I moved from Ohio I was a caterpillar. I kind of believed there was more to me than what even I saw and knew, but I had no idea I'd evolve as much as I have. I have had many mentors in my life, but one in particular imparted some fundamentals that have driven me in my pursuit of happiness and giving. This individual was so instrumental in my formative years that I assumed, again, that it would be a lifetime relationship. But, when I moved and the frequent contact shifted, so did our relationship. I struggled to salvage it until one day the thought came to me that some relationships at the beginning of your life can be so impactful {because of what is deposited} that they can be confused as lifetime bonds. The reality is: It was a season of seeding, and now that the bearing of fruit has begun, the season and reason have been fulfilled.
I was so fascinated with the poem about a reason, a season and a lifetime the first time I heard it. In theory, I loved it; I thought whoever conceived it was so sharp. Sidebar: I hadn't yet drifted from anyone close to me and so I had not experienced the uncomfortable reality of it all.
Friend
I had a best friend growing up who was more like a sister to me than any one I believe my mother could have birthed. We were a few years apart in age and so I was like a big sister, but our friendship was well-rounded and we always had so much fun together. For years, we endured the distance of college -- first me going away and then her — without missing a beat. And then it seemed like overnight, our lives were going in different directions and for the first time, we weren't maintaining. I tried to hang on but realized I was actually kind of flailing and she was going on with her life. It was such a difficult conclusion to arrive at and the reason, season, lifetime thought never once came to the forefront of my mind because I guess I believed that my friendship with her defaulted to lifetime longevity. But, we drifted and the new normal was us chatting when we ran into each other in passing. It was so strange and took me quite a while to adjust to. But, I did. And now as mature women, we are friends again but in a way that you'd almost never know that we used to be best friends. And I'm finally okay with that.
Mentor
I say all the time that when I moved from Ohio I was a caterpillar. I kind of believed there was more to me than what even I saw and knew, but I had no idea I'd evolve as much as I have. I have had many mentors in my life, but one in particular imparted some fundamentals that have driven me in my pursuit of happiness and giving. This individual was so instrumental in my formative years that I assumed, again, that it would be a lifetime relationship. But, when I moved and the frequent contact shifted, so did our relationship. I struggled to salvage it until one day the thought came to me that some relationships at the beginning of your life can be so impactful {because of what is deposited} that they can be confused as lifetime bonds. The reality is: It was a season of seeding, and now that the bearing of fruit has begun, the season and reason have been fulfilled.
By Katrice
Someone who treated you like crap.
I dated a guy who broke up with me in the airport. Just typing that made me chuckle because it sounds like something from a movie. But, it's a true story and I didn't see it coming, which was pretty crappy. His explanation was that his family didn't think I was right for him; also crappy. I assure you, I'm better off without him and them. If I didn't have class, I'd name him here. But, just knowing now that he now realizes his mistake and has tried to no avail to win me back is satisfaction enough.
By Katrice
First, Jesus. My relationship with Him has been the single most profound influence in who I am and the decisions I have made throughout my life. While I've enjoyed wonderful friendships and subsequent experiences over the years, I have never been one to follow the crowd because I always wanted to live a standard-bearing life. If we've ever conversed at length, you know, I'm big on a person's back story. When you look at me and what I have been able to accomplish, you should know that it has been through no goodness of my own. I have worked hard to align myself with the scripture that talks about faith and works. These days, I am compelled to be as transparent as possible because I want to be a beacon. Be clear: Everything that I am is because of God. I assure you, His favor can not be matched by any other relationship or alliance we could possibly make.
My mom. I am the embodiment of sacrifice. I appreciate so much that my mom chose my brothers and me first. She didn't bring men in and out of our house, she raised us in church, she worked to provide for us, and made sure that there was consistency and structure in our home. When I came to crossroads in my life — from traveling abroad as a teen, to going to college and deciding to go out into the world with my move in 2006 — she always supported me and affirmed my desire to achieve beyond my circumstance. I appreciate that she is always my mother first, and did not blur the lines of friend and parent before I was mature enough for an evolution of our relationship. Not only did she offer wise guidance in words, she offered it by example.
By Katrice
1. Leather Croc Metal Bar Clutch | ASOS | $69.58
2. Coconut Frosting Salt Scrub | Philosophy | $25
3. KRISTALLER Chandelier | IKEA | $39.95
4. Harrison Street Passport Holder | Kate Spade | $68
5. Red Square Stud Earrings | Wallis | $12
6. I Basic Sandal | Zara | $49.90
7. Suitcase Yourself | Modcloth | $90
8. Cashmere Cardi Nail Polish | JACOB | $6
9. Geometric Panel Necklace | Zara | $19.90
By Katrice
I hope I never have to bury another close family member. It's inevitable, right? I know. But, that doesn't stop me from hoping. When my aunt died in 2004, I didn't think I'd be able to recover from that. And I realize that no matter how much a person tries to prepare, the way death changes you is too profound to truly conceive.
Something you hope you never have to do.
I hope I never have to give up ice cream.
I hope I never have to endure another relationship with a man whose motives are around trying to change me.
I hope I never have to endure another relationship with a man whose motives are around trying to change me.
I hope I never have to clean up vomit.
I hope I never have to shovel snow, especially involving digging my car out of a snow pile. {lol}
By Katrice
Something you hope to do in your life.
1. Travel to Africa.
2. Become a philanthropist.
3. Adopt a child.
4. Pay off at least one person's student loan debt, besides my own.
5. Learn to sew and change brake pads.
6. Write a book.
7. Get married.
8. Have a conversation with Oprah Winfrey.
9. Shed my fear of speaking in front of audiences.
10. Live in Harlem.
By Katrice
Something you have to forgive someone for.
I was hoping by the time I got around to posting today that I would be able to end my day of truth by saying that I was resolved ... Alas, I am not. I need to forgive my ex-bf for not paying me back money that he borrowed. We've discussed it extensively with no action {I'm all about action}. And the reality is, it's just money and I have maintained without it. Since that time, I've learned that you shouldn't lend money that you're not willing to simply give. Lesson learned. Hopefully, forgiveness will follow soon.
{Footnote: No worries. He already knows I haven't forgiven him. Ha!}
By Katrice
Something you have to forgive yourself for ...
{Prologue: I have been out of undergrad now for 14 years.}
It was my dream to attend an HBCU, and I did — pursuing a bachelor's degree in political science at Howard University in 1993. It was my first time living outside of Ohio away from my family and I was as nervous as I was excited. But, I made wonderful friends immediately and loved being in the city. Before going to HU, I had been a pretty focused student throughout high school. I never considered myself book smart, but studied relentlessly to be sure I would have limitless options. My first year at Howard, I did pretty well in all of my classes, except English. I struggled and was all of sudden timid about getting to the bottom line of my problems with my composition assignments. The one time that I did meet with my instructor, she reprimanded me for not coming to see her sooner and told me to get a tutor. Embarrassed, I decided I wouldn't meet with her again. Moreover, I didn't get a tutor right away. Needless to say, I had to retake the class. My second year, again, my grades were okay; But, nothing like they had been in high school. While I loved the experience of being in the "big city" and at an all-black university, I was homesick enough that I became distracted and my grades were just above average {not at all competitive}. And all of a sudden, I had a deficiency in my funding for the second semester. When I met with a financial aid adviser, my GPA wasn't high enough to position me for any last-minute scholarships. Long story short, I would have to leave the university. Thankfully, I didn't go home — but on to Kent State University. I can say thankfully now because I don't even want to imagine what may have happened with my college career had I gone home. But, at the time, I was devastated. I couldn't believe my dream had slipped through my fingers ... partly because I was not resourceful and partly because I had not been at my best. Thinking back, the amount of money I needed to stay at HU was likely manageable but I had no idea where to begin with my college financials. I acclimated well at KSU after the first semester. My grades were very good and my friends were like family. But, when I graduated, I cried throughout the entire ceremony — so ashamed of myself — because I believed I should have been walking across the stage in Washington, D.C. And I knew that had I been a better student and more responsible, I would have graduating with my friends at Howard. Sometimes, it's difficult for me to talk about my undergraduate college years because, simply put — I should have been better. Even with all of the success that I have experienced since that time, I have never forgiven myself. My angst about this subject was actually so buried that when I pondered this question, I thought I didn't have a truth to share. Now, that it's out, I'm glad that I've unearthed it and can move on. Today, I'm forgiving myself.
By Katrice
Something you love about yourself ...
Ever so often, I will post a status on Facebook or Twitter that simply says, "Forgive." It's the bottom line of one of the things I love about myself — that I can't hold a grudge. When my best friend and I have a disagreement, by the next day, I have forgotten which has become a joke with us. Sometimes, I'll hear people call things back to the forefront {with really strong emotion} that others did to them years ago, and I feel sorry that they aren't able or willing to move on from it. Resentment weighs you down and influences — even possibly impairs — your outlook. And I want to remain as free and joyful in my life as possible.
By Katrice
Something you hate about yourself ...
I am not spontaneous ... what's worse is that I'm actually anti-spontaneity. It's that extreme. I don't think I've always wanted to have things so planned, but now I do and sometimes, I hate it. I've tried at different junctures to be more impulsive. It never sticks. Part of the time, I think I can just shut it off and be spur of the moment. And I have a lot of friends who are spontaneous and want me to join in. I'm sure it hinders me from a lot of fun times or at least my friends' fun times with me.
By Katrice
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
I don't do many challenges here, but I saw this one a blog this week and thought it would be interestingly introspective. The challenge will not only be in my posting 30 truths about myself but also a commitment to posting consistently each day for a month. After reading down through the challenges, I'm a bit nervous. But, I'm just going to consider this a month dedicated to making me more fearless. Today is Day 1.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
By Katrice
I always think it's so interesting to see the randomness inside another woman's handbag. We carry so much. Here's a peek at everything I haul.
I always think it's so interesting to see the randomness inside another woman's handbag. We carry so much. Here's a peek at everything I haul.
Michael Kors Hamilton Bag
Native Union Pop Phone Handset
H&M Faux Snakeskin Pouch
Apple iPhone
Business Card Holder
H&M Sunnies
Orbitz Gum
MK Credit Card Holder
Contents Sequin Makeup Bag
Andrew Grand Blogs I Follow and Like Journal
In my makeup bag:
Modern Basics Tipsy Lipgloss
Maybelline Colossal Mascara
Pangea Organics Lip Balm
Bath & Body Works Pomegranate Citrus Hand Lotion
Germ X Hand Sanitizer
MAC Press Powder
Buffing Brush
In my pouch:
Gift cards
Coupons
Kodak Easyshare Digital Camera
Jumpdrive
